Thursday, August 6, 2009

The last of the old school buddies.

My wonderful friend Halee Young-Ballash found out about my abdominal strife (ughhhhh... appendix... why did you have have to leave me so........) so she wrote me a most pleasing letter via email. This isn't just ANY pleasing letter via email. This was a pleasing letter via email WITH 10 QUESTIONS. I felt like a missionary... wait... let me explain... I'd always write my LDS Missionary boys long long long lovely letters with 10 random questions enclosed, thus giving them a break from the mission-ideology, but with a condition that they had to ask me 10 questions right back. It kept the letters long, but memorable. Maybe I should dig some of those out of the depths of my closet...

The moral of this story is that Halee rocked my invalid world. I basically just love that girl.

I want you to really FEEL the experience of this question/answer game. Thus, my answers will be in normal lettering and HaLEE's
questioning spirit will be expressed in italics.

Halee's Letter:
(Insert witty yet personal family details... la la la la la... I'm sure she'd prefer me to leave those out...)

Ok... and out of story mode on to "I'm bored with story mode and prefer another mode" mode.

Claire, tell me a story about your love life. Do you realize that the last I heard, you were almost simultaneously (that's the way it plays in my mind anyway) dating an 18 year old pre-missionary and some boy who lived in New York. I am so out of the loop! You have been out there in dating land for what, 3 years, since I heard anything new about your love-life. So, tell me how it goes?

(insert a long drawn out stories of my famous conquests, adventures in slumming, and yes, even my more boring dating experiences will be related and analyzed to the "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME" extent)

Also, Answer these ten questions for me: (Feel free to ask me ten of your own as well when you're through) 1. What is your favorite time of day or night? Why?

doesn't like to be reminded DAILY of the remarkable pop-culture sensation that has hit America.. and apparently Europe (remind me to dig out my photo from a marketplace in Spain.. that book was everywhere).

2. How many skeletons are in the average closet?

I believe that in time every single skeleton in America will one day feel accepted enough to just open the closet door, and just step out into the sunlight.

The skeletons will come out. The closets of yesteryear will be just a thing of the past.

Come out, dear skeletons. Come out, and embrace what you truly are!

3. If you were locked in a room with a TV that only tuned to one channel, which channel would you watch and why?

It would be a channel of myself watching the TV. It'll be such a circular activity, that finally I'll go crazy.. and then everything will finally make sense.

4. How many pets do you currently own?

I have a ghost kitty that follows me around sometimes.

5. Where will you be taking your next vacation?

Oh... so this week of bed-rest doesn't count as a "vacation"?

Multiple choice:
6. If you married a famous man which of these three options would he be: a. A famous race car driver b. A famous scientist c. A famous ventriloquist (You'll note that I purposefully left off musician and artist (too easy))

Ok. This is how it's gonna work: My FIRST husband is, of course, going to be a dashing adventurous type. Thus, the Scientist will come into existence... aka. Dr. Jones. I'm talking Indiana. Then... after a tragic misadventure involving Nazis and sacred artifacts, I'll tragically be left widowed and venerable enough for the famous ventriloquist to finally make his move. Of course the puppet will someday choke THAT husband to death... or was it that my husband choked the puppet to death (they had issues (I don't think paying the puppet all that romantic attention was a such great idea))... basically, the pair off them off one another, forcing me into the lap of lonely luxury (FABULOUS life insurance policy plus the stipend from the hit ventriloquism fan club dues). Finally, I'm able to attract my gold-digger race car driver boyfriend, and being the cougar that I KNOW I'm gonna be, I'll be perfectly at ease in this young hottie guy/older slightly decrepit yet attractive women scenario.

7. You have to date a guy with one of the following characteristics. Which do you choose and why?
a. Incredibly hairy b. Somewhat moley c. Not at all funny

A. Incredibly hairy. I really love a man that can rock both corn-rows and a french braid somewhere on his body.

Fill in the blanks:
8. The best kind of melons are _____________ melons.

Blind Melon-s. You know how I'm a sucker for 90's rock bands. More specifically, Blind Melon-s that existed from 1989 to 1995, and ceased with the death of lead vocalist Shannon Hoon shortly after the release of the band's second album (The band reformed with a new lead vocalist, Travis Warren in 2006. However, Warren announced his departure from the band on November 6, 2008. The band continue to search for a new vocalist. Hooray Wikipedia).

9. The first thing I notice on a guy is his __________.


Maybe I'm a hipster.

NEW, YET GENERIC FILLER ANSWER - His eyes. Yeah. That's it. The eyes.Because... The eyes are the window to the soul... Yeah.

10. I remember when Halee and I ___________________________.

Lived in an opium den.

Wait, no... I could do better... ummm . . . I remember when Halee and I were on opposing sides of a massive gang battle. Sharks (me) vs Jets (Halee)
. It didn't turn out well, even though most the gang members had a background of jazz and ballet.

Better answer #2 - I remember when Halee and I moved a mattress through my tiny apartment all the while talking in 'Teen Girl Squad' voices. It really impacted my life as an adult.

Hopefully this little email can entertain you for a while. I love and miss your cute, appendix-less, face!
Love, Halee

Oh Halee, Thank you for the post-op entertainment.

I adore you.


  1. Oh wow! A post that involves two of my most adorable roomates from Parkway Crossing number 4... something.

    I must tell you that I hope your journey to a mobile, appendix-free, great feeling body is quick and painless!

  2. Claire darling! My name is misspelled some 40 times! Though my email is deceptive (haydances) It is only spelled "H-A-Y" to avoid sounding like jolly laughter (HA) So... because I know you so well I'm going to lovingly nudge you in the direction of the proper spelling of my name: H-A-L-E-E.

    Love you. And LOVE the posting of my questions to your daddy-of-all-blogs.

  3. shoooooooot. i've been calling you HAYLEE in my mind for years. YEARS I TELL YOU.

  4. lol! It's all good. I hope your memories of me won't be lost in the confusion! Love you love you love you.

    (P.S. my word for verification is "consumme"... sexy...)