We all know what tomorrow is. The RAPTURE.
And while I WISH I was talking about the New York punk-dance band, whom I love... no dice.
(For the record: NO, I don't believe that this is going to happen. I felt like I had to kind of set that out there. One, I don't really think anyone reads my ramblings, but Two what if they are, in a sense "enraptured" with my blog, and take everything I say for seriousness. Girl, nuh uh. IS judgement day imminent? I don't think so.)
I need to confess that I actually didn't know that there was some sort of schedule to the Rapture, like say On May 21, 2011. Apparently the Rapture has a problem with punctuality (join the club), and has been re-scheduled over and over again.
According to the best information source on the planet for lazy people such as myself (yes, I'm talking about Wikipedia):
- 1844 - William Miller predicted Christ would return between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844, then revised his prediction, claiming to have miscalculated Scripture, to October 22, 1844. The realization that the predictions were incorrect resulted in a Great Disappointment. Miller's theology gave rise to the Advent movement. The Baha'is believe that Christ did return as Miller predicted in 1844, with the advent of The Báb, and numerous Miller-like prophetic predictions from many religions are given in William Sears book, Thief in The Night.
- 1914, 1918, 1925, 1942 - Dates set for the end by the Jehovah's Witnesses
- 1981 - Chuck Smith predicted that Jesus would probably return by 1981.
- 1988 - Publication of 88 Reasons why the Rapture is in 1988, by Edgar C. Whisenant.
- 1989 - Publication of The final shout: Rapture report 1989, by Edgar Whisenant. More predictions by this author appeared for 1992, 1995, and other years.
- 1992 - Korean group "Mission for the Coming Days" predicted October 28, 1992 as the date for the rapture.
- 1993 - Seven years before the year 2000. The rapture would have to start to allow for seven years of the Tribulation before the Return in 2000. Multiple predictions.
- 1994 - Pastor John Hinkle of Christ Church in Los Angeles predicted June 9, 1994. Radio evangelist Harold Camping predicted September 6, 1994.
- 2011 - Harold Camping's revised prediction has May 21, 2011 as the date of the rapture.
- 2060 - Sir Isaac Newton proposed, based upon his calculations using figures from the book of Daniel, that the Apocalypse could happen no earlier than 2060.
Well well well... looks like people have been upset over missed dates since they invent the Rapture. It's The Great Disappointment all over again (why is that such a funny title?).
While lazily reading up about the Rapture (wiki strikes again) I learned that the word rapture is cognate to the English words "rapids", "ravish", and "rape". The latter two... um... don't seem entirely sacred. Those words are both sexy and frightening. I don't want the Rapture to happen if it's going to ravish and rape me. No way. The Oxford English Dictionary provides more etymology for the word "rapture": Latin- rapere: to seize, especially abduct. Again. Do I WANT THIS? No. Rape AND kidnapping... wow.