Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Weird Upper Shelf Shoebox Findings:

One Torn Out Journal Title Page: "Memoirs of a Genius"
*affixed below is a 'security device enclosed' sticker from some movie I bought long long ago.

One Flyer From Giff's Corner: Hooray for handwritten coupons! Written on the back by the hand of Giff himself. Hmmm... Maybe I should have used that 15% off...

Two Autographed somethings:
Exhibit A- Waterstained purple notepaper "Merry Christmas! Len Randolph"
Exhibit B- a color photo of three strapping young men (with facial hair and multiple facial piercings) of the 1999 boy band Youngstown (they sang "I'll Be Your Everything" in the Walt Disney's 'Inspector Gadget')... I can't even read the oh so famous scrawlings of 'le boys'.

Two Notes Written During Borings Meetings:
Mandee & Claire
"-Remember that time you fell asleep on my bed and your feet were cold and Mike and I watched TV till 6 AM on the floor?
-That would be impossible. What's more, improbable.
-So, has he left yet?
-No, he is living under my bed now.

Erin & Claire
"-Erin, I took the cheese. I'm very very very very very very very sorry. I was reading a very arduous magazine article about a third world country I can't pronounce, when I learned about the children who are born with flies on their faces & without cheese. I stole it for The Children. LOVELOVELOVELOVEclaire
-CLAIRE! NO YOU DIDN'T! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! THE CHEESE, WHY THE CHEESE? Couldn't you have sent the salad dressing You could have fooled them w/ the blue cheese! J/k but I love you Claire. You bring sunshine to my soul!
-YOU are a muffin. A rainbow muffin. I'm hungry. I need to eat. But nothing sounds good. That is bad. Nick was hot @ that bonfire a million years ago. Pink frosting sounds really good. I hate my handwriting. It's ugly.Looks like a cow chewed letters and spit them here. Gah!
-You are a chocolate covered donut with sprinkles on top..."

One Haiku: "Twenty-Eight children. That is unbelievable. Mother is a saint."

One List of People Who Were Interested in a Modern Dance Study Abroad to London. Sorry dudettes...it ended up being Spain, and only 4 out of the original 16 actually ended up going... oops.

One Education Week August 20-24, 2001 Map of BYU Campus:
*below the date is a rudimentary drawing of stick figures in what appears to be a wave pool and the caption "Chris is trying to drown Claire because he is jealous because Claire is spending too much time talking to Jesse, Chris' friend."
*Despite the run-on sentence, 17 year old Claire had time to punctuate the possessive form of 'Chris'. You go 17-year-old-Girl.

One Conversation in French from Claire's Inaugural College Semester:
-Comment t'apelles-tu?
-Je m appelles ____. Et toi?
-ça va?
-ça va.
-Ou vas-tu?
-Je vais à la fac - et toi?
-Au revoir.
annnnnnd... THAT sums up the entirety of my French conversational skills.

One Saddle Creek Winter 2005 Catalog (what happened to those guys?)

One Phone List From My Stint as a Chocolatier @ Godiva: The entire list is covered in melted chocolate.

One Quote From an Unknown Source: "4 year old wisdom - Love is when someone says your name, and you know your name is safe in their mouth."

TWO Dye-cut Christmas Stockings: "Claire" and "Shon".

One Envelope From Vineland, NJ from the band Life Is Here circa Sept 2005 "Enjoy the buttons!! Smilely Face, Adrian"

One "After the PIERCING" booklet

Two Blue Flowered Envelopes from New Zealand Entitled "Seductive Poems to:Melissa, Laura, Kristen, Mandee, Rachel, Harold, Larry, Moe" & "More Seductive Poetry"

One Sub Club Card, jointly owned by Claire Bagley, Cole Smith, & James Huntington

One Hit List For The She-Women Man-Haters Club (written by ME, Halee Young(co-presidents), Erica Mizell (Vice-Pres),Chazlie (Secretary), Ashley Jaeger (Money Person), Meredith Mower (Assassin)):
*Eric Miller and Nate Bagley- You were on the hit list. I am so so so sorry. I adore you now. I promise. Also... Greg Ballash... you ARE on the list, but we didn't have the heart to kill you. The little note beside your name clearly identifies you as someone who we wanted to get as sick as possible without dying. Again. I adore you now... water under the bridge.

One Monologue from a High School Theater Class:
Breakfast at Tiffany's
written by George Axelrod, novel by Truman Capote
Holly: Look, I know what you think. And I don't blame you, I've always thrown out such a jazzy line. But really...except for Doc...and you...Jose is my first non-rat romance. Oh, not that he's my ideal of the absolute finito. He tells little lies and worries about what people think and he wants to be the President of Brazil. I mean it's such a useless thing for a grown man to want to be and takes about fifty baths a day. I think a man should smell...at least a little bit. No, he's too prim and cautious to be my absolute ideal. If I were free to choose from anybody alive...just snap my fingers and say "Come here, you!"...I wouldn't pick Jose. Nehru maybe...or Adlai Stevenson or Sidney Poiter or Leonard Bernstein...but I do love Jose. I honestly think I'd give up smoking if he asked me to!

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